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my boyfirend broke up with me after 5 months sarah
i just met this french guy about 5 months ago and he said that he loves me
we havent even seen each other yet for the forst time and he said over th phone that he loves me so we hang out and after 5 months doing all the romantic things together he broke up with me and said you are too much for me and we will never be happy together , i tought he was happy with me he would say all he time that he cares about me so much and he would show that he cared about me, so is it me who screwed things up? he was sooo shy and i dont know whether he hesitates to call me because he thinks that i would break up with him one day and i think he just wanted to reject me before he gets rejected by me........he would ask me sometimes if i wanted to break up with him....... and now i feel like an addicted who needs drog and he is not here and he doesnt call me at all ...... i dout wether he ever loved me ........... mélissa
sarah, set un mec sa invente n'importe quoi pour evite la verité, as tu esseignier de le contacter pour avoir un peu plus d'esplication, de tout facon sa voulai dir que s'ete pas le bon sa faisai 5mois se n'est pas comme si sa faisait 2, 3 ans aller courage tu finira pas trouvai quelqu'un qui t'aime vraiman
bidule (moderatrice)
dear sarah, (would you please , forgive my poor english...)
could you tell how old are you ? i'm so sorry for you , through what you say , i think i understand , that this boy gave up because he feared to be abandonned the first, ... so he probably suffers a missing of selfconfidence, may be he has been hurted yet very strong by someone who let him... are you still in contact with him? can you let him a kind of message to ask him a deep explanation... maybe he saw through your behaviour some kind of things that made him fear...and that you couldn't suspect, maybe you didn't say or do anything that objectivaly is bad,... it's probably not your fault... many guys are frigtened about the simple idea of any kind of engagement, i mean investing ..., and give up seams to be the only way out to not build something... sarah
dear bidule thankyou for your message
i am 29 and he is 32, you are right he said one day that i am too much for him and he looks for something simple not a princess as you said i think that he is scared of commitement and me as well because he has been rejected 5 years ago by his love and he was afraid of being rejected by me so he did it first to protect himself but from now on i cant trust guys they are such liars i thought he loved me from the depth of his heart i texted him yesterday after 10 days to ask him to be friends because in some way i want him back you know what he said? he said that it is so hard to be friends bcoz there is a seduction between us but he wants to try to be friend with me (if he has feelings towards me y did he broke up with me?) can you imagine? he wants to try like he wanted to try me 5 months ago and then he couldnt handle it bidule
Dear Sarah,
I'm not so estonisched about what he said you ... I read this 'try to be friend', not like I want to try you , but like 'i'ts hard to be friend when you have or had been in love' and that is so obvious , don't you think? If everything is finished, may be you could become friend after a long time without any contact to repare eachselves heart before a new kind of relationship... but just after a love afaire it 's something huge to ask the guy ! If you ask it in order to try to get him back , it's not very honest you understand... Now the point is , does he yet love you or not , and if he does what kind of new departure can you imagine to build together? and that would be hard to deal by texto ! I realy wish you good luck in this hard moment for you, and hope you will manage to have a real deep and honest conversation together. sarah
you are absolutely right
what i just thaught is that maybe he is still in love with me and he regrets alot aout what he did and he said you know i just realised that he wanted to break up with me at the very first months but he hesitated because he couldnt keep his eyes off me until i believed him in fact i erased his phone number and will be waiting him to call do you think that replace him with another boy canbe a good way to forget him ? Bidule
Dear Sarah,
To be honest , I don't think that it would be the best for you now. You seems to be marked by this story that has just turned off. Maybe you need e little break to let your heart heal. Moreover, there are some risks. First is to bless you again and someone in a relationship in which you could not be realy available and free . Then you may enter in a bad circle where a love affair must always replace another one and that would bless you again and again and wouldn't help you to learn to build something deep, solid and strong with The guy of your life... because trust and self confidence are hurted and weaked at each breaking up... and it takes time to fix oneself from that ... what do you think? sarah
dear bidule
tell me do you have another idea? i feel alright now and fine i think it was a bd idea to text him but im not gonna make a big deal of it so tell me what to do Bidule
Dear Sarah,
I'm afraid there's not much to do... was he clear about the breaking? if not , call him to have the converation you need, exchange pardons, put new engagements ... deal for a periode of try ... I don't konw... if it was clear that everything is finished as far as he's concerned, you can only make the time do its job... heal and invest you in friendships, works , hobbies, to forget and retake selfconfidence and joy. 
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